Where did my optimism go?

I’m stuck. I have been for what…a year now? hovering around the same weight, any loss always gets put back on. Every time. usually with more on top of the original weight.

I keep telling myself to stop fanny assing around and actually do something about it, and it starts ok, then goes to crap again. and again. and again.

seem to be stuck on a plateau, one that balances between redemption and doomed forever. (a little over dramatic maybe)

I guess I just feel like I’ve been stuck at a wall for a long time, and nothing has changed.

I’m hoping they will soon.

RUN! …No really, run.

Just got back from running. really struggled with this one, especially starting out. I think my cold is still lurking in my chest, and I didn’t have my asthma pump. equals struggle and much coughing. I’m glad we went out though. also glad that it wasn’t raining any more!

Pushed myself (actually Miss Motivator pushed me, and I complied) on the last run, going fast than before, and instead of stopping early like I did on my first run, slowed the pace down instead. I guess you could call that progress…of the slow and painful kind…that makes you feel sick afterwards…

I’m finding it difficult to work out what to wear when running, especially when the weather is cold, as I don’t want to keep getting sick. today I had a hoodie on the whole time, and got very warm. I kept it on because I didn’t want to cool down too much when switching to and from walking. Hard decisions….maybe run in a gilet (bodywarmer) when its really cold?  or is there a fancy fabric that can keep you warm and cool at the same time?


anywaaaay, Ive done week 1 of the podcast 3 times, so I am now allowed to graduate to the week 2 podcast, but I really don’t feel that would be a good idea just yet. maybe one or two more of the week 1, then move up. I’m worried about pushing myself too soon, getting injured, and losing all motivation…

the time of week when I broadcast my weight on the internet…

Start Weight: 205 pounds

Current weight: 208

Progress so far: +3

No progress, but on the bright side no gain either. This week is going to be difficult because everyone is back at uni, and will want to meet up and drink/eat. I’m going to have to be really careful with what I eat. (Although, thinking about it, that’s not really a big change)

I’m glad I went running twice this week. I probably would have put on if I hadn’t! Speaking of running, I’m planning on going today. at some point. I NEEED to. Probably this evening.

doing this week’s shop later on, not going to buy any crap. fruit and veg FTW!

Run, run, run, as fast as you can…

Went for run numero 2 this evening.

It went ok…I wasn’t feeling particularly great, I would have been happy to stay in all evening and do nothing, but, obligated to go out with my running buddy, I upped and went out.

I’m glad I did!

It felt good to be outside doing exercise, even though I’m not very good at it. But I’ll get better! so long as my running buddy doesn’t mind being Mr. Motivator when my willpower dies out…

The actual run went well, we must have either walked slower or ran slower, because the podcast finished sooner on our route than last time. I felt better paced though, not quite as dead. however that could be down to my cold getting better-still there, but not quite as aggressive. who knows. It was also colder than last time, warmed up quickly, but the cold air had an effect on my breathing.

I feel good for going out and doing it. Bring on next time. 🙂

A new day, another Weigh day

Start Weight: 205 pounds

Current weight: 208

Progress so far: +3

last week I had weighed myself after breakfast, and the next morning ire-weighed to check the figures, and was only half a pound lighter, so not a lot of difference there!

I was surprised to have lost this week, i haven’t been eating particularly good foods. I must be eating less overall…maybe?

I’m creeping back away from 15stone (210 pounds), I’m glad I didn’t hit it because that would have been a huge confidence drop…which is not something I need when going out and exercising in public. eep.

this week my eating should settle down into a regular pattern again, and I can start forward planning my meals. Being back at uni next week will give me more structure in my week, making planning meals easier. Which should help with weight loss. yays2


heehees, the title feels kind of like the title of a comic strip panel…

Reflecting on my run made me think more about how much of an achievement that I actually ran is. outside. in front of other people. I was also thinking that if my friend hadn’t come with me, would I have been able to do it? Probably not, or I would have once and then given up, again. We have plans to go again, which is good because it will make me feel bad if I bail out of doing it. She makes a good Mr. Motivator 😉

as much as this is a personal achievement, I’m still overweight, unfit, and really awful compared to some of my friends who run or do other exercise regularly. Or those who have lost weight through eating plans. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Feel bad for making me feel bad!

I’m joking of course, your achievements are amazing!!


In the earlier post I said I felt sick, that passed quite quickly and then I was really hungry, hungrier than normal in the mornings. my other symptoms have passed, leaving behind a slightly sore chest from the cold, and achey legs which I’m sure will be 100 times worse in the morning.

I feel Invigorated, and awake which is a nice change from my usual sleepy mornings! I’m going to have to try and remember that it will feel good after running, some self-motivation . . . I CAN do this! With a little help from my friends…


First Run…

Just got back form my first run… and it was HARD. I’m so unfit I cant run for 60 seconds without dying!

The run was 8 minutes of running overall, split into 60 second chunks, with 90 seconds of walking in-between, and 5 mins walking before and after to warm up and down.

My chest is killing me, my head hurts, and I feel sick. I dont think running is meant to feel like that?! add that to the cracking blister that appeared mid-run, and I’m all set to go to work….

I’m hoping a lot of my chest discomfort at the moment is down to the cold I have, which has been moving into my chest, which means it should get easier to breathe, if I remember to bring my asthma pump too. (whoopsie for running without my pump…)

this is the first of three runs this week, I’m not sure if I’ll survive them!

au revoir, time for me to hit the shower!