3 Month Weigh In – Goal 1

Happy Sunday!

Today is the first of my quarterly weigh-ins. We all knew I wasn’t going to hit my goal, but I’m still posting about it to stay accountable.

Goal weight: 209.5 Pounds
Weight: 225 Pounds
Difference: +15.5 Pounds

Voila, a stone too heavy. Even though I didn’t hit my goal, I do feel like I achieved something in the past 3 months…

3 Month Summary
Start weight: 227 pounds
Heaviest Weight: 234 pounds
End weight: 225 pounds

Jan-March: 2 pounds lost
Heaviest weight-March: 7 pounds lost

It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s good to be losing weight overall rather than gaining! I considered changing the next goal as I didn’t make this one, but I think for now I’m going to leave it as it is, and if I don’t reach the next one I’ll rethink the remaining goals afterwards.

Speaking of which…

Next goal:
28.06.15: 199 Pounds
26 pounds to lose in 3 months. 8.7 pounds per month, ~2 pounds per week.

Now to get cracking on this with some meal planning!

Weigh in Wednesday

It’s the last week of March, how exciting. And scary. It’s only just over 4 weeks until we’re going up to Scotland to climb Ben Nevis!! Eeep! Need to get walking…

Anyway, weigh in!

Last Week: 226.6 pounds (re-weigh weight)
Today: 224.4 pounds
To Reach Goal 1: 14.9 pounds

Lost 2.2 pounds this week! I’m pleased with that. My goal for this week was 224 pounds, which I’m happy to say I accomplished. 224 is the lowest weight so far this year – it was my pre-Christmas weight last year.

The goal 1 weigh in is this Sunday, and there’s no way I’m going to loose a stone in 4 days. So, obviously, I’m not going to be hitting that goal. I may need to re-adjust my goals for the rest of the year…or, I could work harder to lose what I didn’t lose in this quarter of the year and play catch-up. I haven’t decided yet…

My eating has been better this week, I actually planned out lunches and dinners this week and have been making wraps to bring into work for lunch. This has hugely helped because I know what I’m eating when, and the wraps and dinners I’ve been making (from a clean eating recipe book) are really tasty.

Goals for next week
Weight: 222 pounds
Exercise: Get outside and walk. A lot.

Weigh in Wednesday

Morning, morning, morning!

Here goes:

Last week: 227.2 pounds
Today: 227.8 pounds
To lose for goal 1: 18.3 pounds

A gain of 0.6 pound. That’s really annoying! I’m really bloated and feeling heavy this morning, so I might re-weigh tomorrow to see if that is what affected my weight rather than actual weight gain. Or maybe I just put on weight, who knows.

*EDIT* I re-weighed myself Thursday morning and came in at 226.6 – in actuality I lost 0.6 pounds from last week! Happy days.

Food-wise I have not been as good as last week, but I’ve still been on the good side of things. On three days I ate really well and within my limits, two days I overate, and two days I was pushing the boundary of what I can have, which is where the extra weight is probably coming from. And all the wine I drank last night at bookclub…

Have a good week!

Goals for Next Week
Weight: 224 Pounds
Exercise: Walk 8km

Weigh in Wednesday

After my venting session last Thursday things have improved. I’m still eating well, and have spoken to the people that I was upset with and – hopefully – resolved things. All good. I’m in a better place emotionally now.

Last Week: 229.8 pounds
Today: 227.2 pounds
To lose for goal 1: 17.7 pounds

A loss of 2.6 pounds this week. Finally we are heading in the right direction again! Now I just need to keep up the better eating habits and keep on losing. I feel good because I’ve lost a little bit – I know I didn’t hit my target from last week (225 pounds) but a loss is a loss regardless. I may end up way off my March Goal, but I am still aiming for it, and will lose more this month in the run up towards it. If I can get within 7 pounds of it I’ll be pleased…

Biscuit Ban Update
This has been going surprisingly well. There are biscuits at work which I consider to be my favorites, but I haven’t touched them at all. I only crave them when I see other people eating them…But so far so good on the avoidance front.

Ben Nevis Update
My flu-cold is almost gone, so I am back into training for Ben Nevis now. At the weekend I did a 3.7km walk with steep hills on Saturday, followed by a 5km walk with some gentler hills on Sunday. Going forward I need to up the distance of the walks and get some more hills in.

Goals for Next Week
Weight: 224 pounds
Exercise: Walk 8km

Cravings, Non-cravings and my Relationship with Food

I don’t know what’s happened this week. I’ve eaten really well, not snacked between meals, and done some exercise (in the form of walking). There have been no cravings for anything, despite knowing there is chocolate that has been left in the cupboard at home, and a multitude of biscuits and easy ways to get crap food at work. It’s all a bit bewildering. Reading through what I’ve written, it sounds like this should be a good thing. Well…I’m not so sure. I’ve lost my appetite and feel nauseous when I eat. I feel guilty with every mouthful of food and consider skipping meals. So actually, perhaps it’s not such a good thing.

Some people have been trying to be supportive. However, their ‘supportive’ comments are more like backhanded insults, insinuations, and overall negative comments. They said they are sick of waiting for me to do something about being fat instead of saying I will, talking about it and dragging my feet. Apparently I need to let go of my pride and let people help me. Ummm…I take advice all the time. I asked for advice on a recent post, and have had several hundred conversations about all of this shit. Thanks for paying attention pals.

Am I supposed to apologise for having an addiction to food? For struggling with self-control? For finding this all really difficult? I don’t think that would be productive or helpful to anyone. I like to excel at things, I always have. Failing at losing weight is my biggest failure and shame; and I post about it on the internet every week.

I am hard on myself and put myself down all the time. I have zero confidence and very low self-esteem. I feel like I am a worthless person. I don’t need others to help with that.

I’m not too prideful to admit that I need support, because I do need it. I also need to achieve this on my own to regain my sense of worth. I understand that is a hard line to tread for people trying to support me, but don’t tear me down and emotionally blackmail me with the threat of not being able to achieve things when you get tired of walking that line.

If you made it through this post, you are a champ. I’m venting.
Well…after purging my mind on here I’m going to go drown in some vomit…(kidding)
Goodnight, people.

Weigh in Wednesday

Another week has absolutely flown by. It’s March! we are 3 months into the new year!! whaaaaat?!?

In other news, I’ve had the flu and subsequently some comfort food was chosen over healthy food. I’m at the tail-end of it now, and I’m feeling better after having eaten some real actual vegetables and whatnot.

Last Week: 229.8 pounds
Today: 229.8 pounds
To lose for goal 1: 20.3 pounds

Well, I was expecting to gain so a maintain is much better. A large loss was needed but yet again I didn’t manage that! This much be so boring to read. It’s boring for me to weigh in and waver around the same numbers all the time. Loss next week or else I’ll have to do something drastic…I don’t know what yet.

Training for Ben Nevis has been at a stand still because of the flu (flu + asthma = issues breathing). It will be good for me to get into a routine and be more active, I’ll see more improvements in both my fitness and my weight. It will be a good thing. It will. Even if the thought of Ben Nevis is freaking me out…

Anyway…

Next Week’s goal: 225 pounds

Happy first Wednesday in March!